I'm back to making lists! And this one is a doozy. After I had posted a couple of lists of random things for the blog, I kind of got bored with it. Like how many random facts does one person have? I wanted to stop that since I couldn't think of another fact about myself, but when today came (it's my blog writing day), and I am feeling under the weather... I thought of this one. 15 of the hardest things. I haven't planned it out, so I am not really sure where this one is going to take us, but it feels right. I already claim the title of writer of the hard things...so why not tell the about 15 of the hardest things I have had to face. Also, if you know me, you know I hate small talk. So let's just dive in and really get to know each other. Here are the 15 hardest things I have ever done or had to face.
Getting the phone call that my grandma had two months to live.
Getting myself out of the funk of postpartum depression. eg. realizing there was so much work to do on my part- getting on medicine, exercising, cutting back on drinking.
Unmedicated labor & birth.
Getting dumped in high school.
Watching one of my best friends die of cancer.
Finishing pharmacy school while living in Myrtle Beach and with a baby.
Accepting the loss of close friendships: some due to different interests, lives going different directions, distance, or for reasons that I'll never understand.
The moment I realized no amount of love you give could break someone's addiction.
Running a marathon.... or that time I ran a half-marathon with a fracture in my leg.
Dramatically changing our marriage for the better. Owning up to our mistakes, apologizing for our failures, changing our lifestyle, grieving the way things used to be.
Stepping down from a really good and stable career to work for my family.
Watching your children experience failure, rejection, or shame.
The moment after I talked to my biological father for the first time.. and realizing that I had unknowingly been holding onto hope that I would be able to have a father-daughter relationship. And then having that hope gone in an instant.
Releasing Mended. Letting the world read all of the most vulnerable pieces of me.
Having to tell Andy that I had an abortion.
That wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. A good mixture of emotionally hard and physically hard. I could have added a few more- but as much as I am an open book, there are some things that aren't internet appropriate.
I feel like it is uncommon to write about all the hard things in life- or to be a mostly open book. But I have to tell you, it is insanely freeing. And I feel like it levels the playing field out for all of us... no matter how different we all are, or how good one person's life may be, usually you'll see that most of us have gone through some hard times. Sharing mine has definitely one of the best decisions I have ever made. If you are comfortable enough to share-- what are some hard things you have been through?